Monday, 16 January 2017

PREGNANCY | Finding out & My first trimester!

Before I even knew I was expecting a little one I had symptoms of being pregnant but didn't even notice them, it's not something that crosses your mind when you're in the middle of your cycle.
I fell pregnant while I was on holiday, I came back from Florida and went back to work as normal.
I get the bus daily so I found myself feeling very sick and woozy any time I had to get to or from work. I was also a smoker, and any time I had a cigarette I heaved! 
I thought I was just coming down with something or I was just super stressed as after the long intense holiday, getting engaged, the stressful trip home and going straight back to work the next day, never would I have thought that I would be pregnant.

The reason I'm so surprised by my pregnancy is I was told in 2014 I would have an incredibly slim, if not no chance of falling naturally due to many factors, I have been pregnant before but the last 5 years or so I've had operations, biopsies and all sorts but I wont go in to massive details, bottom line, I would not be having a baby naturally. To add insult to injury the Dr exclaimed 'Miss Watson, please tell me HOW you expect to be given IVF to get pregnant when you're over weight and smoke.' She basically laughed at me and how I was feeling, I left the hospital feeling like the biggest failure ever. 
As the last few years went on it  I semi accepted the fact we wouldn't have children naturally, my fiance and I had spoken about IVF/Adoption/Fostering and all the what if's but deep down I wanted to carry and have my own baby, it's all I've ever wanted since a young age. 

Back to October and how it all started! My period was due on my (literal) bloody birthday, I had the usual symptoms. That hideous back ache, period pain in your belly, sore boobs etc so when I didn't come on I wasn't surprised as I could tell it was coming, waiting to strike when I was wearing my best underwear or didn't have any pads or tampons to hand, you know how periods do!
I was only a day late and I woke up at around 6.30am after an insane nightmare, I ran to the loo, dug about in the cupboard and pee'd on a stick. Washing my hands I literally didn't even know why I'd done it, my head was a bit confused from the nightmare and I was squinting at this little strip and I could see the faintest line. So faint I questioned myself and did it again. I could see this little line, I was sure of it! I began shaking and freaking out, I ran to my housemates room and dragged her out of bed to show her. 'Yep, you're pregnant' we just kept saying it then decided we needed to go to the shop and get a digital one. Being so early nowhere was open but we kept up and finally found one and there it was, pregnant 1-2 weeks. (The digital ones don't take in to account the first 4 weeks as I was actually just over 5 by then) 

I ran in to tell Jack I was pregnant and he literally had no idea what to say, he just sat there looking at me like I was crazy. Instantly I googled what to do now, I made a doctors appointment and self referred to the midwife via an online form. From then it was just a waiting game, I was dying to know what happens next and after seeing my doctor and him basically saying 'congrats, now leave' I was left with very little information. I don't know if this is the case for all women or just in my area but until you're 12 weeks they don't really give a flying hoot. When you've found out at 5 weeks waiting until you're 12 seems like a lifetime.

I got round to having a meeting with my midwife at around 8 weeks or so and this is when I had my 'booking in appointment' they take all of your info, dates, pee, blood etc it lasted around an hour. You can ask any questions you need to as well at this point. I also was told I would see a mental health team to keep track of how I feel during my pregnancy because of my past problems with depression. All in all despite being left to it for a few weeks I feel very well looked after. 

After your first appointment they sort of just start rolling in every few weeks, I was lucky and had two scans due to irregular periods so we weren't 100% sure on where I was in my pregnancy so I had one at 8 weeks and 2 days then my next one at 12 and 3. All of my bloods came back normal and at low risk, the baby is healthy and right on track, all very nice to know!

I have a private scan booked for the 5th of February so I can find out if I have a little girl or boy. My mum is also coming along to see so it's going to be emotional!

Since being pregnant I've had a vibe that I'm having a boy so it'll be interesting to see if my gut feeling is right. I would love to have a girl but if the baby is healthy I don't care!

I don't know if it was my weight loss, being relaxed on holiday or if it was just 'my time' that it happened but I'm so incredibly happy about it.

Let's talk bump, symptoms, cravings and weight gain. My first 12 weeks I was plagued by sickness, every day at work I'd be sick at least once, sometimes enough that I had to go home or take days off, then there was the headache, being literally exhausted, chronic back ache, sore boobs, tooth ache & constipation. Ahhhh pregnancy, wonderful isn't it!

When people ask me about my pregnancy they instantly hop to cravings, but I've had more aversions than cravings but there are some things I plain can't stand-
  • cigarette smell despite being a smoker for 14 years or so.
  • seeing macaroni cheese videos on facebook.. even thinking about macaroni and cheese.
  • seeing fat being cooked on bacon or most meats
  • hot bacon but not cold
  • hot stringy cheese on facebook.
  • the smell of the restaurant at work, it always smells, to me of burning cheese. EWW
I couldn't even explain them if I tried but seeing food videos on facebook can honestly push me over the edge, haha!

Things I'm loving-
  • watermelon & grapes
  • pickled onion Monster Munch
  • Double Decker bars
  • Prawn pasta and garlic bread - literally want it every day!!
I'm now 14 & 1 day, so I'm beginning to start to feel more human, I didn't think I'd get here with how rotten I've felt, at work my superiors have made comments such as 'how are you going to cope, you're only 13 weeks' when I've said my back hurts, I think people forget my pelvis is moving, I'm flooded with hormones and I work 37 hours and travel over 3 hours every day to work! Some people can mean no harm with their comments but it can be hurtful that people question how I'll 'cope', already I'm suffering doubt about how I'll be as a mother I don't need the pressures of that on top of me! Jeez.

My little belly is growing, after losing over 3 stone it's very hard to see myself getting 'fat' again but it's all worth it to brew a little baba! I can tell my pelvis is moving forward I'm beginning to lean differently, I've gained around 4lbs, I go between 1lb gain to 4lb during the week depending what I've eaten or been doing. The left picture I am 8 weeks or so & the next 9 & 2 so there's literally a week between them and I can see a difference. (I have posted an updated shot on my Instagram also @kyleighxrose)

There we have it, my first trimester, I'm into my second one gladly leaving it behind!
If you have any questions or comments feel free to leave them below, I'm trying to get back into blogging so hopefully I'll keep you updated with lots more posts! 

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